CONFIRMED: Malia Obama is 9 Weeks Pregnant

In what guarantees to be the greatest White House outrage since assistant fellatio, President Barack Obama’s little girl, 16-year-old Malia, has affirmed that she is pregnant.

Sources say Malia is currently in her second trimester. Mother and First Lady, Michelle Obama, says that despite the fact that she will be a grandma significantly more youthful than she arranged, adolescent pregnancy keeps running in the family.

“On her dad’s side obviously. My relative had Barack when she was 18, so I see where Malia gets it from. I’m quite recently so eager to design the nursery. The White House hasn’t seen an infant since goodness, 1884 or something like that.”

Until further notice, Malia is staying secretive about the father’s personality, yet one thing she would state is that he is white. “My mother dependably trusted I would get with a decent blended race man like father, yet cherish is so partially blind. Mother was most likely right however. The father effectively left me for some tramp. What’s more, obviously, similar to every single white me, my infant daddy won’t have any desire to pay his kid bolster. I as of now let him know, ‘You need to keep your permit so you can drive that platinum blond tramp around in your little Jaguar, correct? Better stride up.'”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *